Life Lessons

56 hours. I had 56 hours this weekend to drive 18 hours, sleep two nights and help my dad try to get his head above water. So many life lessons were reinforced this weekend and what I saw and did brought up a lot of emotion.

My dad is 74 this year. He has lived alone for the past 27 years since my mom died. I have to be honest, the house was/is atrocious. BUT he has done the best that he can and the best that he knows how to. In 27 years, there has never been a sorting of things, a purge of old and useless items, regular maintenance of things (painting walls, replacing carpet, washing/replacing drapes, etc), repairing of broken things (kitchen cabinets, closet doors off hinges, etc). In addition, he has grown up with a Depression era mentality about his belongings. I felt/feel awful that he is living in these conditions. It's strange, but he doesn't even see it.

When he puts the house up on the market, people who come to see the house will think about the squaller that he has lived in. But again, he does not see it. I have been there before to help (last time I got rid of 35 garbage bags of trash/junk/give aways from one room). Here is a man, who incidentally was a doctor for 40 years, with such integrity, moral grit, and dignity living in destruction...and he is my dad! It Breaks.My. Heart.

This is a very complicated topic and could be discussed for paragraphs upon paragraphs, but for the sake of readable blog entry, here is a summary of the life lessons that were reinforced with me this weekend.

1. Periodically take inventory of your belongings. Purge, re-purpose, re-cycle, donate. (Yay for this blog!)
2. Beautify your environment. Surround yourself with things that are useful, meaningful, and appealing.
3. Maintain your belongings. Fix things that are broken and do preventative maintenance on things that need it.
4. Get help. If you can afford to, hire someone to help do things (clean, power wash, lawn maintenance, painting, etc), DO IT! Being penny wise can sometimes be pound foolish. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and shell out the bucks. If you can't afford it, ask for help from those around you!
5. Having the most possessions doesn't mean you win the game.

I love my dad and I want him to be happy and comfortable. I am so sad that his life has slowly worked its way down this path over the years. He is doing the best he can and age only exaggerates his housekeeping handicaps. I feel helpless. Aside from helping as best I can, I can take the lessons that I have learned from his life and try to do better with mine.